


Trust Us

by Tgaret990



Series: The One-Winged Cowboys Diaries [9]
Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Adam and FTR are not as buddy buddy as they are in canon here, Apologies if it reads strange, Arguing, Because Adam will not be fooled, But no fighting this time! So that's good, FTR stirring the pot, Freaking HECK BTE, He's just really stressed and tired of being stuck in the middle and not cared about right you guys, I've never tried to write this kind of thing before, In a way, Kenny slowly losing his mind, Kenny's Slow Burn Heel Turn, M/M, poor kenny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25457140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tgaret990/pseuds/Tgaret990
Summary: Kenny tries so hard to keep up the appearance of being "okay" every week, and the facade is finally starting to crack. Something in him began to stir, a side of him he thought he left behind a long time ago. He feels like he's going crazy. Adam isn't letting him go through things alone.
Relationships: Kenny Omega/Adam Page
Series: The One-Winged Cowboys Diaries [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761574
Comments: 14
Kudos: 23





	Trust Us

Trust Us

A/N: Ahhh. Slow burn heel turn for Kenny. AAAHHH. How to balance canon with my fic plot? Because I have a feeling no matter what goes on I’m going to fight for a way for the two to be together in this series! Hmm… I guess we’ll just see how this goes? As I fail to properly describe body language and other important details within interactions from BTE? XD

  
  


Adam was by his side before he and the Bucks had made it back to the EVP room. He felt the hand on his wrist, heard the normally soothing and loving voice of his partner, but neither reached Kenny. Not really. Keeping up the facade of being _okay_ , of holding it all together… It wasn’t easy. He’d done it before, a bit poorly, in hindsight, for much longer. But he could already feel himself starting to crack. It felt like October all over again: months of ups and downs and it felt like he was about to go off the deep end. Again. But there wasn’t a Moxley to focus his anger and frustration on this time. This time there was FTR… But maybe he didn’t even have them.

Adam had been the glue that put him back together, when he felt like he might go insane, when he felt he might be fighting for nothing and gaining nothing. Adam was there. Adam made him feel whole. And things between them had changed for the better. But… His almost nonchalance towards the beer incident, his almost… _Friendship?_ with FTR made something inside of Kenny **_burn_ **. Something dark and fierce… A part of himself he thought he’d left behind a long time ago.

It was very much present now and it. **_BURNED._ **

“Kenny,” Adam called out to him firmly, finally breaking him out of his furious daze. He looked to Adam, trying to keep his face neutral, but he knew his eyes would give him away. He never was good at hiding his true feelings. Sure enough Adam froze, eyes wide, at the frustration, malice, and fury in an unhinged look that he knew wasn’t directed at him, but he could still feel. Kenny stopped with him.

“What?” he snapped. Adam bristled a bit at that, but he knew Kenny was just upset about what had just happened in the ring. But that look… He hadn’t seen it in a long, **long** time. And that wasn’t a good sign. He internally scolded himself. Focus!

“Kick ass out there tonight,” Adam told him a little less happily than he wanted to. Kenny frowned guiltily when he noticed, leaning in for a rough, but loving kiss, lips lingering when they both pulled back.

“I will.” The confidence and something… Sinister made Adam’s skin crawl a little, but he nodded, hesitating before softly nuzzling his nose against Kenny’s in an attempt to bring a smile to his face. A quiet laugh, and there it was!

“Are you gonna change?” Kenny shook his head, frown back as he stared down at his beer soaked t-shirt and dripping gear.

“We’re up next. I just need to grab the title, maybe towel off.” Adam nodded, hating the awkwardness between them at the moment.

“I’ll be watching from back here.”

Kenny tried to smile in response, but Adam could tell it just wasn’t going to happen. He watched him go, a knot in his stomach, looking away to find the Bucks watching from a fair distance. He briefly balled his hands into fists before taking a deep breath, relaxing them. Their eyes met. They passed each other in the hall, the Bucks catching up to Kenny and Adam going to find a place to get a drink. A drink sounded nice right about now. A few minutes later saw Adam seated in a bar, watching the Elite make their entrance. It stung, to watch them smile and have fun out there without him, but it is what it is. He was shocked when Dax and Cash appeared beside him, empty glasses in hand.

“Mind if we join you?” Dax asked. Adam, not wanting to cause a scene or rub them the wrong way, plastered a smile on his face. _Play it cool, Adam._ He gestured to the remaining seats.

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead” He reached over for the whiskey bottle, pouring the two generous helpings before turning back to his own glass and the match. Why was Kenny on the ground? Was he not taking Marko seriously? Did he think the match would just be a fun ten to fifteen minute Elite spotfest? He downed several drinks as he watched Kenny become increasingly frustrated and the Bucks increasingly worried, big spot after big spot making him grip his glass tightly as his eyes were glued to the screen. Cash’s gaze flickered to Adam’s hand that held the glass, then to Dax, who raised an eyebrow in intrigue. They focused on the match again.

Adam breathed out a sigh of relief as the Elite’s theme played after a One-Winged Angel for the win. It had been a while since the three had tagged (6-ish months maybe?), and things had looked bad at several points in the match, but they pulled out the win. And then… Well. First it was the manic, deranged look on Kenny’s face, then the cocky kiss to the camera. And then…

“What the fuck?!” Adam questioned as he watched Kenny start hammering away on a fallen Marko without warning, Nick eventually pulling him back as Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy shielded Marko from him, shocked and protective. Kenny was smiling. He was **smiling**. Was he enjoying it?!

“Looks like your boy’s snapped,” Dax told him, and Adam startled. He’d forgotten the two were there with him.

“You sure he won’t snap on you?” Cash asked. With that FTR walked away. Adam saw right through them. He wasn’t going to let them shake his faith in Kenny.

He grimaced, looking back at the screen and watching a frustrated Kenny leave with the Bucks, Jurassic Express looking on in worry, outrage, and confusion. Adam stared hard at the glass in his hand, trying to ignore the slight panic in the back of his mind. _You’re sure he won’t snap on you?_ Cash had asked. No. Of course Kenny wouldn’t… Right? He shook his head furiously at himself. No! He **wouldn’t**. Adam stood with whiskey in hand, waiting for the room to stop spinning for a moment before leaving, going to find Kenny. He probably should’ve just waited by the EVP room from the start instead of wandering around, but he happened to meet Kenny on his way there, right down the hall.

“Hey, babe. You alright…” he trailed off at the icy glare he was receiving. This time it **was** directed at him, and he didn’t like it one bit. “The match was good.” Why did he feel so uneasy right now?

“Yeah, I’m good,” Kenny responded a bit shortly, keeping to himself and leaving plenty of space between them. That was the first red flag. Adam tried to laugh it off, maybe brighten the mood a little? Ahhh, he might be a bit drunk at the moment.

“What?” he asked, somehow mustering up a smile. Kenny scoffed in disbelief at the gesture. Ah, bad idea then.

“I saw where you were, man. What the hell is up with you?” he questioned, gesturing angrily with his water bottle. Adam was taken aback.

“What—

“Hanging out with the FTR boys. Are you kidding me? Did you see what they did to me out there?!”

“No! They were—They were fine! They just came to the bar. What do you… What do you want me to do?” Adam tried to make it seem like not a big deal, keeping the smile up, not missing the hurt look in Kenny’s eyes—Hurt? Why?—before he looked away and gave a short, bitter huff, looking back at Adam with an irritated smile.

“Those guys embarrassed me out there tonight, okay? They made me look like a fool.”

“Oh my God,” Adam mumbled, looking away with an exasperated smile. _This is what they want right? They want to separate us? Like this?_

“You see what—They poured—They poured—

“Look,” Adam interrupted loudly, and hadn’t they already talked about this the other night? Was Kenny still upset about it? “You… Kinda had it coming.” Kenny raised an eyebrow, pointing to himself.

“ **I** had it coming?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah! You poured their beer out the other ni—

“I came out to offer **them** a drink—

“Yeah?”

“And that’s what I get?”

“Yeah! It’s, it’s—It’s kind of like—

**_“And that’s what I get?”_ **

They were talking over each other, Adam miming what he was saying with his hands and Kenny looking torn between storming off and chucking his water bottle at something. Or someone. It wasn’t a big deal. Adam tried to get the point across that it wasn’t a big deal. Payback and all. It was a normal thing. Things were even now! They were arguing again. He really didn’t want to argue when their last fight went so **awfully** . He hated this. He **knew** they could talk to each other better, but him being drunk and Kenny being pissed off didn’t exactly make for calm conversation.

“We don’t do things like that in Canada,” Kenny told him, frustration and irritation made clear.

“Wash your gear. Whatever, man. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.” _It’s really not. Please don’t get so worked up over something like this. Please don’t let them get in your head._ Kenny looked absolutely done dealing with people for the day, but he took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

“Alright. Water under the bridge.”

“It was shitty, but… Yeah. It’s fine…” He was rambling. He needed to stop. He knew damn well it wasn’t water under the bridge, but what could he really say to help?

“Okay! Water under the bridge,” Kenny reiterated as he started to walk off, turning briefly back towards Adam to finish his thoughts, hands held up in surrender. “I’m cool if you are.”

“Yeah? You’re… Are you good?” His smile had long faded. He knew the answer was definitely no, and yet he knew that wasn’t the answer he would get.

“Pssh.” Kenny shrugged angrily. “Whatever. It’s just national tv, right? Who cares?” He shrugged again, turning around and not looking back, pace brisk, unhappy. Adam frowned, watching him go, averting his eyes as he felt them water a bit before looking back at Kenny’s retreating form, disappearing into the EVP room. Fuck.

**_Fuck._ **

Kenny’s head wasn’t any better. He agreed to go see Marko and apologize after the Bucks, Jungle Boy, and Luchasaurus cornered him in the EVP room about it, and the entire way there his head was spinning, thoughts racing beyond his control. He wanted so desperately to hold himself together, to keep everything and everyone together, to keep his family whole…

But he was so **tired**.

Who was constantly stuck in the middle when a squabble came up between the Elite? Who always got the blame for everything? For not doing his part in matches, not being there when he was needed despite being incapacitated in a situation out of his control, not being _the Kenny they used to know,_ not being good enough for his friends or the fans?

_Overhyped._

_Overrated._

_Better in New Japan._

_Can’t wrestle._

_Can’t cut a promo._

_Can’t tell stories._

_Can’t make the right decisions._

_Can’t connect with the audience._

_Wasting away in the tag division._

_Won’t drink a beer._

_Won’t pick a side._

**_Won’t pick a side…_ **

…Well what if he didn’t want to pick a fucking side? What if he just wanted someone to pick **his** side for once? Someone who didn’t blame him for every mistake he made, or everything they thought he was doing wrong that they _oh so clearly_ did better than him? Was it so hard to ask for someone that believed in him 100%? Was it so hard to ask for everyone to get their shit together? Was it so hard to ask… To **not** have to pick and choose between his family? The small cracks in his mind spiderwebbed, widened, slowly gave way the more his thoughts continued to spiral.

And Adam… His Adam…

He kept saying the beer incidents weren’t big deals. Why? Because of some American tradition-code-thing? Because it was just beer? Because he didn’t want him mad at his new friends? Or maybe… Did he know something more? _They just came to the bar._ Adam didn’t invite them. _You got them, they got you…_ Get even. **Even** , not one-upped. _It’s fine. It’s not a big deal._ ...Was he overreacting to all of this? Was everything happening in his head making him lash out and lose his temper? ...Okay _maybe_. But… Was Adam trying to warn him? To not make it all a big deal? Was that why he kept saying it? Were FTR baiting him?

Why was all of this making his head feel **_worse?_ **

His feet suddenly stopped, and he looked up to find himself outside of the trainer’s room. He knocked, asking to come in. Marko didn’t protest, looking defeated and drained, having one of the doctors help rotate and get some feeling back into his right arm. Kenny did feel sorry when he saw the state Marko was in. At least. He thought he did. But… For whatever reason his mind flashed back to after the match, the adrenaline rush he felt when he was punching Marko, how **freeing** it felt… How **good** it felt. It felt **good** to do what he wanted. He’d tried to be the bigger man for so long, the responsible one, the reasonable one, the humble, selfless babyface that the fans could get behind. But that was then. Things were different now.

**He** was different now.

“You alright, buddy?” he asked gently.

“I mean, I—I could be better, you know?” Marko responded indifferently, voice shaking slightly. Kenny looked away, expression full of guilt.

“Yeah, um… Look, that guy out there? That wasn’t me. And, um, uh…” Marko smiled in disbelief, minutely shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say. I’m—I’m sorry. I just… Was in a bad mood or whatever, you know? Shit just wasn’t going right today, and… I took it out on you, and I—I shouldn’t have. You’re—You’re a cool kid, and… You’ve got a bright future, man—

“You know… Honestly, man? I’ve watched you for so long, and I’ve looked up to you…” The doctor left the two of them alone, patting Marko on the back as he did. “And what you… What you did out there?” He pointed towards the center of the arena, and Kenny nodded. “It hurt my feelings.”

“Yeah…” Kenny whispered regretfully.

“And you know they…” Marko made a frustrated, heartbroken gesture. “They always told me not to meet my heroes.” He shook his head, unable to look at Kenny.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll make it up to you, I swear,” Kenny told him. “I’ll make it up to you, man. I promise.” He turned to go. “I am the man that you think I am,” he finished, pointing to Marko, expression remorseful. He stopped a few steps outside the room, leaning back against the wall with a sigh, sweeping some curls out of his face. “Don’t meet your heroes…” he mumbled, as if he was actually disappointed in himself, before a dark smirk lit up his face, a sharpness added to his gaze. Pathetic. “Fucking pussy.” He scoffed, continuing down the hallway, feeling more cracks in his mind.

He settled down in the EVP room, Matt and Nick nowhere to be found, plopping down in a chair and putting his head in his hands, gripping lightly at his curls. Why did it feel so good? To talk to Marko like that, with regret and remorse and guilt… But not feel any of it? Or… Or did he? Did he regret attacking him after the match? Part of him, the rational part of him said yes. But that dark side he’d kept at bay… Said hell no. His dark side said to hell with everyone else who doubted him. He didn’t need them. They didn’t **deserve** him. But… What about his family? Matt and Nick… They’d been through everything together. And Adam… He loved Adam with everything he had. Even Cody, who’d been distant lately, meant the world to him. Of course he needed them, and if anything **he** didn’t deserve **them**.

Kenny tugged sharply on his curls to bring himself back to reality. What was going on with him? Why was he thinking against himself? Did that even make sense? Did anything make sense right now?!

“I’m going crazy,” Kenny whispered to himself. He laugh-sobbed, hunched over in the chair, trying to just sort through his thoughts and separate it all. “What is wrong with me?”

It was then that Adam poked his head in to see if anyone was there, eyes going wide when he heard a hiccuping sob. His eyes fell on Kenny’s hunched over figure, immediately rushing into the room and to his side.

“Kenny?” Kenny quieted with a barely audible gasp, not moving a muscle when Adam wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Hey. Breathe, babe. It’s alright.” Kenny took a shaky breath, then another, slowly relaxing in Adam’s embrace.

“If I said I was going crazy, would you believe me?” Adam quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Going crazy how?”

“I…” Kenny swallowed, letting out a harsh breath. “There are times where I feel like I’m me, the same me I’ve been since AEW started. And then there are times where I feel like… The darkest version of myself possible. Worse than the Cleaner, worse than any dark place I’ve ever been… And I’m trying to keep myself together and I just—” His voice broke, and Adam shushed him softly, plopping a kiss into his hair.

“You’ve got a lot going on up here, huh?” he asked gently, affectionately poking Kenny in the forehead. Kenny let out a small laugh.

“Yeah. It feels like… The part of me that just wants to… To lie, to do whatever I want, to look out for just me, to **take** … Is breaking through whatever kind of walls I’ve put up in my head to suppress all of it. It’s like… It’s like there are cracks in the walls, and more of the awfulness seeps out as the days go by. I think…” He sighed. “I think, when FTR offered the beer that night… That was the first thing that really made me **notice** it. When it all started was probably when I lost to Jericho. After that everything snowballed, and you saw how bad I got. The suit, the catchphrase, the weird… mannerisms, I guess. And now…”

“The walls feel like they’re going to crumble,” Adam finished for him. Kenny nodded.

“You said one of us would break… And now I feel like it’s going to be me,” he whispered. He gripped Adam’s arm tightly. “I don’t know how to stop this, Adam! I don’t know how to hold myself together without losing myself in everything I _think_ I might be feeling!”

“Hey. Look at me,” Adam told him softly, and Kenny turned in the chair to face him. “Remember what I said? No matter what happens between us, I’ll be there when you need me. I meant it. I’m not going to let you deal with this by yourself.” He sighed, kneeling down to Kenny’s level. “I know you’re stressed about the Elite. You’re stressed about us, and what people are saying about you… But you have to be able to know when to let go. Let go and trust that things will work themselves out eventually. Trust yourself. Trust us.”

Kenny shook his head, whispering, “I can’t trust myself though, not when I’m like this.”

“ **I** trust you,” Adam told him. “The Bucks trust you. Your real fans and your real friends and everyone here trusts you.” He smiled warmly, Kenny meeting his loving eyes with a harsh breath. **_“Trust us,”_ ** he reiterated. Kenny nodded, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he whispered. Adam hummed dismissively.

“You were upset and I was drunk. I mean… I’m still a little buzzed, but…” Kenny smiled slightly, but it quickly disappeared again.

“I don’t know how the next few weeks are going to go.”

“Probably badly,” Adam told him honestly. “We’re all a mess right now.” Kenny swallowed.

“If I hurt you… If I do something awful—

“We’ll get there when we get there. And I’m not changing my mind about what I said. **_I’ll be there_ **.” Kenny nodded again. “You wanna head back now? Or do you and the guys have EVP stuff to take care of?”

“We can head back now,” Kenny answered, the two of them getting up and grabbing their things. His thoughts drifted, as they made their way out of the arena together. How good would it feel, watching from ringside and seeing everyone who doubted him get beaten down in the ring, calling out to him, begging for his help? And not moving a muscle because he could. And then walking away without a care in the world. Or his knee colliding with—He shook his head, snapping himself out of it with a grimace. Adam took his free hand with his own, drawing Kenny’s gaze. His heart melted at the warm, yet concerned smile Adam was giving him. He leaned over to kiss his cheek, squeezing Adam’s hand softly.

“You good?” Adam asked quietly. _Trust us_. _Trust me._ _Please._ Kenny smiled genuinely back.

“Yeah. I’m good.”


End file.
